“Be the parent today
that you want your kids
to remember tomorrow.”
~Unknown
If I am learning anything it is that kids see - and remember - EVERYTHING. In fact, kids notice things even when you think they don't! And, boy do I have an example for ya.
Every Saturday morning I take AJ to his bowling lessons. He loves it and they say he has some natural bowling skill. Who wouldn't love to hear that? He is on a league that has constant coaching instruction for the kids. So, since it is not a drop-off sort of activity, parents go and sit at the nearby tables while the coaches work with the kids. They bowl two games and it takes a total of about 2 hours. No biggie, right?
Well over the last several weeks, here is what I have been noticing.
The mom of a quiet girl who never smiles sits down at her table, pulling out a bunch of papers and thumbing through them. She sits with her back to the bowling lanes.
The dad of an adorable little boy either hangs out in the arcade or sits in the back, playing games on his cell phone.
Yet another mom of two handsome young bowlers opens her laptop at a table at the farthest end of the bowling alley.
Have you ever seen kids bowl? Without fail, every time a kid goes up to bowl, they throw the ball, turn around, and they look straight at their parent (or look for their parent if they are MIA). They just tried their best and are looking for that reassurance, that pat on the back, that, "good job, kid, I've got you."
I began watching this as it happens and I have never seen a child's gaze meet that of their parent. They never saw their kid learn that new technique. They never saw those pins fall. And they never saw the light in their kid's eyes as they turned around after taking their turn.
It hurts the heart to watch.
I am far from perfect, but I am learning that being present for kids is like giving them an actual present. They need and want attention. And, when they get it, they feel really good. And we all want kids to feel good, don't we? They deserve it (most of the time, ha!)
So, parents - be present for your kids. Put the phone down. Leave the work until later. And just give them the reassurance and support they look for from you. It builds them up. The world is cruel and scary -- and you are the only constant they have.
